First and Last
by xanediscanth
Summary: River meets the doctor for the very last time.Major spoilers!River's/10's/11's POV!Plz R&R!season 4-6.10/River/11.T for chara death.chapters out of order.
1. Her end His beginning

Her end. His beginning.

Her doctor.

Her silly, goofy, wonky doctor. Her silly, goofy, wonky doctor and his silly, goofy, wonky bow tie. Every time they met he knew her less and less, so much so that she could practically feel it. That day. That horrible, dreadful, awful day. The day when she would look into his eyes and see a stranger reflected there. The day when she would know absolutely everything about him and he wouldn't even know her name…

But he surprised her. He showed up at her doorstep with a new haircut and a new suit and he knew her. He knew all of her favorite things and all of her memories were memories that he recalled. He took her to Darillium, to the singing towers where they laughed and flirted and kissed and shared a picnic feast… And then he cried. He cried and wouldn't tell her the reason, just smiled sadly and said 'spoilers' and then he gave her his sonic screwdriver.

His sonic, his precious everything but wood sonic.

She should have realized, should have gotten the hint and seen what was coming. The end. Her end and the end of 'her doctor'. A far away memory fuzzily tickled the back of her mind. A memory of the doctor with a new haircut and a new suit and no sonic. The day he died. Killed by a spacesuit at the lakeshore that he had chosen, they had had a picnic that day. It was a memory from long ago but as always her past was his future.

An archeological expedition. Today she was visiting the library. For one hundred years no one had entered the library, not since the day it sealed itself leaving one last cryptic message.

'4022 saved. No survivors.'

How could 4022 people be saved when there were no survivors? She couldn't figure it out on her own and it sounded like trouble. It was sure to be a mysterious adventure. And whenever, wherever there was a mysterious adventure there was only one thing to be done.

She called The Doctor.

She sent him a message via psychic paper.

_"_The Library. Come as soon as you can.X._"_

She knew he would come. He always came when she called. He had promised he would. He was 'her doctor' after all.

So when she arrived at the library and burst casually into the room she didn't hesitate to walk straight up to him and give her standard greeting.

"Hello sweetie." He looked at her for a second, puzzled and a bit curious.

"Get out." He said it quickly and without malice but still…She flinched before quickly regaining her composer. He walked past her and addressed the rest of her crew."All of you turn around, get back in your rocket and fly away! Tell your grandchildren you came to the library and lived. They won't believe you." She smiled and quickly addressed her crew.

"Pop your helmets everyone! We've got breathers!" Anita piped in suspiciously.

"How do you know they're not androids?"

"Cause I've dated androids. They're rubbish." And then Lux cut in with an annoying side comment.

"Who is this? You said we were the only expedition! I paid for exclusives!"

"I lied. I'm always lying. Bound to be others." Lux continued to squabble with The Doctor for a bit. She watched, amused by his antics. No matter how much time went by or what form he took he would always be 'her doctor'.

He immediately tried to take charge of the situation. Giving orders, trying to warn her crew away from danger, he always had to save everyone, everywhere, every time. She quickly organized the situation, giving real orders, translating The Doctor's nonsense into something doable for her crew. She called him over, hoping to get a grip on his timeline and gauge how much he knew of her, what she could and could not tell him.

"Pretty Boy, you're with me. Step into my office." She gathered her bag and helmet and wandered over to a tolerably lit corner of the room they were in. When he didn't follow immediately she called out to him again. "Pretty Boy, with me I said!" She propped her bag up on the table and began digging for her diary. He wandered over curiously and she smiled again. He leaned against the table and cleared his throat to get her attention. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"The usual, for coming when I called."

"Oh that was you?"

"You're doing a very good job of acting like you don't know me. I'm assuming there's a reason."

"A fairly good one actually."

"Okay. Shall we do diaries then? Where are we this time? Ah, going by your face I'd say it's early days for you. Yeah? So, uhm…Crash of the byzantium, have we done that yet?"

"…"

"Obviously ringing no bells. Alright uhm, ah! Picnic at Asgard. Have we done Asgard yet?"

"…"

"Obviously not…Blimey. Very early days then. Whoo! Life of a time traveler! I never knew it could be such hard work! Uhm..." She stopped to look at his face for a moment. "Look at you! Haha! You're young!" She could barely believe it. Here he was, her doctor wearing glasses and a tie!

"I'm really not, you know."

"Oh but you are! Your eyes! You're younger than I've ever seen you!" She was star struck and in awe. She had never seen the doctor so young before!

"You've seen me before then?"

"Doctor. Please tell me you know who I am." He gave her a blank look. He didn't have the slightest idea who this strange, cheeky ginger woman was.

"Who are you?" No. Not yet. Not now just weeks after that wonderful date at Darillium.

She couldn't breath. Her heart ached and her mind whirled. She knew this day was coming and she had done all she could to prepare herself! But now? Now that the dreaded day had finally come? She was lost. She trembled. She could feel tears pooling in her eyes but held them back. Now was not the time for tears. Not now, not when the doctor was staring back at her, not an ounce of recognition on his face or in his eyes.

So she did what she had to do.

She pushed away the pain and prepared for the worst day of her entire life.

A/N: Thnx 4 reading!Plz review if u've gots the time between exams or watevrz!

Much love3

Sincerely,

King of rabbits XD

Disclaimer: If I owned DW I wouldn't be here. Now would I?


	2. Secret

Secret

My screwdriver was acting up.

Something, somewhere was interfering with my sonic. Nothing interferes with my sonic.

As I worked River and Anita were talking behind me. She was trying to convinse them to trust me. I caught bits and pieces of the conversation. Appearantly somday in the future we went to the end of the universe together.

She knew more about my own future than I did. I didn't like it. No one was supposed to no more than I do about me.

She walked over and showed me my screwdriver. My sonic screwdriver.

It was different, upgraded, but there was no doubt. It was my sonic. Why would I ever just give away my sonic screwdriver? It was mine. giving away the sonic is like giving away the tardis! I just wouldn't do it. So why did she have my screwdriver? I tried to interrogate her about it but she caught me off guard.

She told me to stop being so emotional. How did she know I was being emotional? No one else could ever tell before but somehow she knew. She saw right through me and scolded me about it. No one scolds me, I'm the doctor. The doctor for god's sake!

Lux walked over and scolded us. He said we were fighting like an old married couple.

She flinched at his words and looked up at me guiltily. Her look reminded me of someone who had said something they shouldn't have.

Like a spoiler. I wondered who she was to me. Who she would be to me.

She looked at me and said one day I would trust her completely. That she would prove it to me.

She apologized to me.

Twice.

She stood on her toes and leaned in close to my ear. Her voice was quiet but unmistakable.

"-"

My name. she had whispered my name in my ear.

My name.

Not the doctor. Not john smith. My name. My real name. The name that no one knows. The name no one could ever know. Not even mind readers could figure it out.

But she knew. My thoughts whirled around in my head knocking screws loose as they went. How could she possibly know my name?

Who could she possibly be? Someday in the future I trusted this woman. Trusted her enough to tell her my name. My deepest, darkest, most terrible secret that no one knows.

I never even told Rose my name. Rose whom I loved and cherished and treasured. My precious, beautiful, fantastic Rose who never even knew my name.

River was right. I needed to stop being so emotional.

A/N: I actually wrote this chapter before 2 and 3.I love ten so much, he's adorable.i paniced a little when I saw him in harry potter playing some jerk with a tongue twitch.


	3. Back to Front

Backwards.

Always your firsts are my last. It's funny, you know? We're time travelers. We have all the time in the world but…but I wish we'd had more. Just a little longer together.

I've created another paradox.

Your future is my past.

I told you that the last time we met you took me to Darillium. The towers sang and we laughed. And then you cried. Did it happen because I told you it would? Or did I just insure the future?

I wonder. It's all so timey wimey with you. It always was with us. Or I suppose…it always will be.

You're crying now. I'm saying goodbye. Maybe I should be saying hello?

I try to comfort you as best as I can.

'It's okay. It's okay. It's not over for you. You've got all of that to come.'

You keep crying. You're still trying to stop me.

"River. You know my name."

Yes. I know your name.

When you first told me I was so confused. I had no idea just how important your name was. No idea how important a name could be.

I wish I'd known.

I wish I could go back and tell her. Silly, little melody pond.

She had no idea what she was getting herself into when she met you. No idea who you were. Who you would be. You're the last. Your family, your people, your home.

All gone. You've already lost so much.

And now you're losing me.

I'm leaving you.

I wish you were here.

I'm going to die and your face is the last one I'll ever see.

But it's not you. Not really. I wish you were here.

But you're not here.

You're in Utah.

On the shore of lake Silencio.

We're having a picnic. You're tasting wine for the second time and…

you still hate it.

You're so silly. You're my silly, goofy, wonky doctor. And I killed you.

I love you. I love you so much.

You impossible man.

Goodbye.

A/N:hah~it's soooooo sad.


	4. Peter Pan

Peter Pan

...

Lake Silencio, Utah. 2011.

The doctor died.

He cut his hair and bought a new suit and went to see River.

His River. The River who knew what he knew.

River, who was just another endless Peter Pan waiting to happen.

Except she wasn't.

She died in a library saving his life.

She gave up forever, just for him. Twice.

And she stole forever from him. Twice.

First she died in a library.

And then she died in Berlin.

First she killed him in Berlin.

And now, her younger self was killing him at a lake side in Utah.

He was peter pan and now his story finally had an end.

The Tardis, like Tinkerbelle, took him anywhere and everywhere anytime at all.

All of his companions, his lost boys and his Wendys, had laughed and cried and gone.

Only River stayed.

She stayed until his end.

They had lifetimes together.

But she died the day he met her.

It was all so timey wimey.

He looked at her and she smiled at him.

He understood a bit of how she must have felt that day in the library.

The day he met her.

The day she died.

He killed her.

And now she was killing him.

For the last time he would die.

This was the last time he would ever see her.

But it wasn't her last time.

He had lived 900 long, lonely years without her.

And 200 even lonelier years trying to keep her.

Now finally.

With one last breath.

And one last regret.

The end.

A/N: A bit of a drabble.R&R if you please.

Thanks always,

King of rabbits.

Disclaimer: Yeah I do own doctor who...

In my dreams.


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